My Oscar Picks (and nominations)

While I consider myself a movie buff, it seems every year at Oscar time the movies nominated are all ones I haven’t seen. It’s rather obvious that my tastes in films greatly differs from that of the esteemed Academy. Seriously, would the average movie-goer pick to see “We’re the Millers” or “Philomena?” I’ve never heard of “Philomena” either, but it’s nominated for Best Picture.
For my Oscar predictions I decided to judge on only the movies I’ve seen this year, which I think would also make for a more entertaining telecast.

Best Actor: Adam Sandler - Grown Ups 2
                  Steve Carrell-  The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
                  Will Ferrell- Anchorman 2
                  James Franco - This is the End
                  Johnny Knoxville- Bad Grandpa

    The Winner: Johnny Knoxville (Bad Grandpa) - His portrayal of an elderly gentleman, more like a dirty old fart deserves recognition. He was playing someone at least twice his age, with much emotional range. In what other movie will you see someone’s explosive gas leave a splattering of fecal matter on the wall of a restaurant?  I bet Matthew McConaughey doesn’t do anything like that in “Dallas Buyers Club.”

Best Actress: Jennifer Aniston - We’re The Millers
No contest, the strip tease scene in the warehouse is worthy of the Oscar all on its own, but she’s good in the rest of the movie too. Sorry, Meryl Streep, better luck next year.

Best Supporting Actor: Zach Galifanakis- Hangover III
                                    Danny McBride - This is the End
                                    Woody Harrelson - Now You See Me
                                     Nick Offerman- We’re the Millers
                                     Steve Carrell - Anchorman 2

The Winner: A tough race, but the edge goes to Nick Offerman in “We’re the Millers” based on the Joe Morgan reference and for his work on “Parks and Recreation.”

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa McCarthy - The Heat
                                       Kate Winslet - Movie 43
                                       Sandra Bullock- The Heat
                                       Allison Janney:  The Way, Way Back
                                       Anna Faris-  Movie 43

The Winner: A little seen movie, but a good one and Allison Janney is hilarious in it, especially when talking about her lazy eyed son.

Best Director: Who really cares? Other than Spieldberg, Scorcese or Woody Allen…name me a director. No cheating.

Best Picture: Hangover III
                    We’re the Miller’s
                     Bad Grandpa
                     Movie 43
                     Anchorman 2
The Winner is: It’s a tight race between “Bad Grandpa” and “We’re the Miller’s” as they both had me in near tears from laughing; but since it had more of a plot (and that’s pretty important) I’ll crown “We’re the Millers.”



                    

Not Another Personality Quiz!

Honestly, I’ve never touched crystal-meth, sold a single drug or even passed a Chemistry test yet I seemingly have the personality of Walter White. At least that’s the result I got from the personality quiz that matched me with a character from “Breaking Bad.” I’ve learned a lot about myself lately as I apparently also have the same internal make-up as Cinderella. From the Disney Princesses I always thought of myself as more of Snow White type, due to my fascination with dwarves.

The latest craze seemingly seems to be taking these online personality quizzes that matches you with a television character. There must be a quiz for every show that has ever aired, both old and new, from “Andy Griffith” to the “Walking Dead.” People have compared me to a zombie before, without even knowing how close to the truth they really were. The number of such quizzes I’ve seen posted really has become humorous, as every day it’s something new. I just saw one for “Whitney,” and I don’t think anyone even watched it. It was on for like three weeks.

It’s just not television either, movies are also involved and theirs quizzes that compares your personality to Presidents. Of course Bush gets blamed for any negative results. I got Obama but that’s only because I lied on all of my answers. There’s even a quiz that reveals what U.S state you are best suited to live in. Guess I should move to Iowa, am I really that boring?

I still don’t understand how questions like, ‘What’s my favorite food?’ and ‘Favorite city to visit?’ determines what ‘Golden Girl’ I’m most like. I don’t need a quiz to tell me that I’m getting old, my aching bones and liter of prune juice in the refrigerator already makes me aware of that.

I think I’ve taken my last quiz, especially after I got Cameron on the “Modern Family” version. Not that theirs anything wrong that..Hmmmm, I wonder if I have the personality of George or Kramer?

No School...Again!

WARNING: This post concerns a sensitive topic and it’s not my intention to raise anyone’s blood pressure or make any more enemies…so proceed with a good attitude. However, a sign of a good work is an emotional response from the public so if you blow a gasket, I guess I did my job. Just don’t complain to me about it!

All through life, or at least the first twenty plus years of it, we are told of the tremendous worth of education. Nothing should ever prevent us from receiving a high quality education, unless of course…there’s a couple inches of snow on the ground. In that case, school is closed and it’s a day to protect young children from the elements. Remember, I warned you…and I do tend to exaggerate to make for better reading.

We are well into February and the local schools here have yet to have a week without at least one snow day in all of 2014. They’ve had more vacation days than Obama. Yes, it has been unseasonably cold and I understand the dangers of frostbite but when a sixth grader begins to crave school pizza its time to get back to class. The best thing about snow days should be that they are rare treats, not the standard. It’s a wonder the television stations didn’t list the schools that were open rather than those closed. Maybe I was wrong, but I always thought that the opportunity to learn some reading and arithmetic was worth having to put a pair of gloves on.

Some of the same parents who are likely to not even know the names of all their children’s teachers become deeply invested in their youngster’s scholastic efforts when they have to get themselves to school on a blistery morning. Trust me, I’m not heartless, I adore children and would never wish anything ill upon them, but I believe they are capable of arriving safely at school if the temperature is below freezing. Parents complain about their little ones having to be outside for an extended amount of time to wait on the bus, but then post pictures of the family out sledding. I guarantee the time spent out playing in the snow is much longer than any child would have spent getting to and from school.

I understand and support days of no school when it’s snowing and the roads are in bad condition, but I struggle with when its called due to just being really cold. Seriously, how long would most students have to actually spend outside? Long enough to throw away an entire school day?
Most days on which there has been school there was a two hour delay, which are pretty much wasted days. The periods are shortened, leaving little time to accomplish much, plus lunch.

It really makes no difference to me, I don’t have any kids, and I stay in myself when it’s really cold. I’m just trying to warm you all up by getting your blood boiling…your welcome.

Roxy & Me

My life was forever changed on 9-08-13, my wedding day, as it started a relationship filled with more love than I ever expected.  As  “with thus ring” I became a first time dog owner. There’s been some ups and downs, as unfortunately the honeymoon really doesn’t last forever, but I’m certain that Roxy loves me like no other.

I’d never been a dog lover, actually I kind of despised the four legged creatures, though they always seemed especially fond of me. Every dog I encountered seemed to have a lustful desire for my leg or at least liked to lick me, within just minutes after meeting. I however wanted no part of it, even if they were really cute, as my distaste for dogs was so strong that I refused to read the comic ‘Marmaduke.’ Yet here I was, not only gaining a wife, but also her dog.

It however didn’t take long to realize that Roxy and I are meant to be together. She gives me a tremendous amount of self worth and adoration, by following me wherever I go. Of course that’s largely because it’s never known when I might drop some food. It’s comforting to know though that Roxy enjoys being right at my side. She even waits anxiously outside the door when I’m in the bathroom, no matter the stench, while from the other room the Mrs. yells, ‘Don’t forget to spray.’

I never expected to be someone who  received personal gratification from a dog’s greeting, but Roxy’s level of excitement when I get home is extremely rewarding. Whether I’ve been gone twenty minutes or three hours, she is so glad to see me, especially if she needs to be let out.
Another great thing about dogs is they are quick to forgive and forget (if only wives were like that), as I can yell at Roxy for being up on the couch and all it takes is a little petting and it’s like nothing ever happened. Thankfully there’s also no worries of Roxy ever bringing up any of my past transgressions.

Like in all relationships, it’s the little things that mean a lot and have clawed a special place in my heart for Roxy. When I’m watching television she comes to sit beside me and if I stop petting her, she stares until I start again and then looks away. She won’t go out in the morning unless I get up out of bed to do it, even if the Mrs. tries first. And there’s not much cuter than when she slightly tilts her head as if listening intently when I tell her something, of course she only does it half the time.

The magic words of, ‘Want to go for a walk?’ sends Roxy into a state of near euphoria. She jumps around with reckless abandon and then runs circles around me while I get prepared. I’ve yet to say or do anything that gets such an excited reaction from the wife, definitely not asking to walk.

 I’m not always the best husband or dog owner, they both let me know that in their own way. For the longest time I never thought I would ever hold either position, but now I can’t imagine life without my wife or Roxy. They have forever changed me and also gave me an appreciation of ‘Marmaduke.’





downs, as unfortunately the honeymoon really doesn’t last forever, but I’m certain that Roxy loves me like no other.