Farewell to Roxy

Silence really can say a lot. Every time I open the front door, the sounds of Roxy not being at home speaks volumes to how much she is missed. Though Roxy never uttered a single word, except if you count ‘Ruff’ she clearly had a strong presence in the house, because it sure is quiet without her.

When I said “I do,” last September and committed to a life spent with Jessica, I knew my life would be blessed in many ways. I never expected her dog, Roxy, to be one of the blessings. They were a packaged deal and I was willing to tolerate being a first time dog owner in order to get the main prize (Jessica). They both proved themselves to be very rewarding. My time with Roxy was to brief, but her impact on my life will last forever.

“It’s just a dog,” that’s what I used to say about the four-legged furry creatures. I felt that they weren’t worth much emotional attachment…I was wrong. I’ve lost grandparents, aunts, uncles and other loved ones, but Roxy’s death hit hardest of all. Why? After all, she was just a dog. I have come to realize it hurts so much, because Roxy was a part of me. We were together every day. She was largely dependent on me, but I never realized how much I relied on her. From her absence I’ve learned how much a part of my daily life she was. For the majority of the time it was just me and her at home so I would talk to her. Probably the only female who never told me I was wrong! Our conversations were brief, and usually pretty one-sided. It’s not often that I’m the bigger talker. She’d usually listen though and sometimes tilt her head as her ears perked up, or at least one of them. Roxy would follow me into the kitchen, in hopes I would drop something (I usually did). Now I have to actually sweep the floor. She kept track of where I was in the house, especially if near the back door. The first thing I did every morning, before even having my juice was let her outside. It was always the same routine, she would walk the perimeter of the yard, sniff around under the shed, and then do her business. She gave me an added purpose and responsibility for each day.

In addition, Roxy was just not part of me, but more importantly was a part of us (Jessica & I). Throughout our entire relationship, Jessica had Roxy. Them together is all I have ever know. When I first started visiting Jessica, while she lived in Indiana, I was afraid of Roxy. Her bark did sound ferocious, but she was really a softie. Our time together has always included Roxy. She made us a family.

After suffering through different health issues all summer, and losing twenty pounds, it was finally discovered last week that Roxy had a massive tumor in her stomach. Cancer is devastating to dogs and humans. There was really only one option, which  is extremely difficult to face. The vet said, we would know when we were ready. I didn’t believe her, I couldn’t ever imagine being ready to have our beloved pet put to death. Once again, I was wrong…I guess in her own way Roxy did tell me I was wrong. That night, she cried all night long. Wouldn’t eat a bite of anything. Her breathing was labored. Roxy was ready to be put at peace…we knew.

While I’ve never given anyone any Driver’s Ed lessons, I believe that taking your dog (pet) to the vet for the final time has to be one of the hardest rides to ever endure. Life can certainly be cruel sometimes. Roxy certainly didn’t deserve such a fate, and neither did we. Just like every proud parent says of their child, every dog owner thinks their dog is the best. Jessica and I are no different, Roxy really was a great dog. She made it so easy for me to become a dog person. All she ever wanted was a little love and attention…doesn’t everybody? I just wish we could have had more time together.

A valuable lesson I learned from Roxy, other than how to pick up her droppings with a paper bag, is that life is precious. Make the most of your time with loved ones because you never know how long you have. I never thought I’d only have a year with Roxy, I wish I could walk with her one more time. I can’t get the day’s back when I thought the weather wasn’t right or I just didn’t feel like exerting the energy. Don’t make excuses. Spend the time with your loved ones, whether two legged or four, as there is nothing else more important.

Though not with a collar, Roxy will continue to walk with me through life, as she marked her spot by leaving a paw print in my heart.

Marriage: Year One

It wasn’t long into our marriage that I annoyed the Mrs., (just a couple hours after exchanging our vows) by giving a speech. Granted my address was rather lengthy, longer than the State of the Union, but it included more truth than Obama has ever uttered. It’s the first time I’ve ever had a lot to say. By the time I got to page four (teen), even though it was close to 90 degrees and I was outside in a tux, I started to shiver due to Jessica’s cold stare. A year later I still occasionally get grief about my speech. However, like most husbands, I’m a slow learner, so in honor of our one year anniversary here is another speech.

Calendars don’t lie, otherwise I really wouldn’t believe that its been a year. I would think it’s just because I’m old that the time seemed to go so fast, but Jessica thinks it did to. So it’s not because of age. We just must be having lots of fun…thanks Netflix!

A key to a successful marriage that I strongly believe in is to never go to bed angry with one another. Any issues should be resolved before going to sleep. It means some late nights, and I’ve started taking more afternoon naps, but we’ve tried to follow the rule. One thing I’ve learned from marriage is that couples who say, “We’ve never had a fight,” are liars. Either that or have husbands who didn’t spend their honeymoon following their Fantasy Football picks.

Seriously though, Jessica continues to amaze me on a daily basis, she can  spot the tiniest of spills on my shirts. She is easy to praise, that’s why I tend to get a little longwinded when ‘talking’ about her. Jessica is extremely hard working, she currently has three jobs and works an average of 16 hours a day. I’m actually not sure if that’s a testament to her work ethic or how she feels about being home with me, but the paychecks are nice. I’m always impressed by all that she’s able to do, as nothing is impossible in her eyes. Jessica can use power tools that I don’t even know the name of. I got a carpenter, a plumber, landscaper, nurse, chauffer, therapist, and wife. Cook? Will nobody can do everything.

A master organizer, Jessica uses her time wisely and can accomplish more in one day than I can in a week. She can work an 8 hour shift at one job, clean house, go to the grocery, make Sangria, get an oil change, walk the dog (wait that’s my job) and balance the checkbook …all in one hour.

Perhaps the most impressive of all is that she’s taught me how to do laundry. I now know the difference between lights, darks and delicates. Or at least I haven’t missed anything up to bad yet. Still waiting to figure out the purpose of the dryer sheets though. In addition, I can now also cook a meal, that’s edible. It sure screwed up my weight loss plan. Never thought I would be searching Pinterest for recipes. All she asks is that I take care of the laundry, dinner and keep the house somewhat presentable..two out of three isn’t bad.

Nobody ever said that marriage is easy, and it’s not, nothing in life ever is. A thing called reality gets in the way of fairytales. It’s our anniversary and rather than being joyous, we’re worried about the health of our dog. Just like all other married couples, the pile of bills keeps rising on us. Every time there’s a light at the end of the tunnel one of our cars breaks down, we get a kidney stone or some other unexpected expense comes up. While it might not be true of our savings account, there’s nothing that will break us up though.

It’s became abundantly clear that Jessica really is the only one for me, guess that’s why it took me so long to find her. Not everyone would have the patience, understanding, responsibility and willingness to spend their life with me. I’m constantly reminded by her actions of how extremely fortunate I am and keep hoping that she somehow still considers herself lucky for having me. Assuming I survive this speech, it is a lot shorter, I look forward to spending many more years with my Princess.