The mere thought of ever having more children than can fit
in a mini-van is beyond my realm of reason, so I consider the Duggars to be
certifiably insane. From the reality series ’19 Kids and Counting’ rather than
’19 Kids and Kill Me’ the Duggars have more offspring than I have friends. (At
least all my friends can fit in a mini-van, or a Volkswagen) However, it’s not
their fertility that I find most unique about the family, but their strict
rules on courting. (Courting is dating with the intent to marry…I had to Google
what the difference between dating and courting is)
Until recently I had never watched an episode of ’19 Kids
and Counting,’ which airs on TLC (there’s no little people in the Duggar family…yet),
but been keeping up with Jill and Jessa’s relationships and eventual weddings.
I assume there really are 19 kids, I’ve only seen about half of them as the
shows focus has been on the sisters who got married within the same year.
The Duggars are a wholesome, religious family with strong
morals, (Did you ever know anyone named Jim Bob ‘Dad’ whose mean?) who clearly
don’t believe in birth control. Also Michelle ‘Mom’ must never have headaches
at night. I respect their code of ethics, but think the family could loosen up
in some area. Under the direction of their parents, both Jill and Jessa were kissed
for the first time at their wedding. Throughout their courtships they never
kissed, not even a quick peck goodnight…on the cheek even. Makes you wonder
what they did on their dates, must have actually talked the whole time and paid
attention to whatever movie they watched together….BORING! I understand waiting
until marriage to consummate the relationship, but to not even kiss seems a little
extreme.
They not only hadn’t kissed, but also never had a full front
to front hug or held hands. The thought of marrying someone who I’ve had less
physical contact with than I’ve had with relatives seems foreign to me. I don’t
think I could do it. When with the one you love it’s hard enough to wait until
it’s time to say goodnight (or until the third date) to have that first kiss,
to wait until marriage seems unnecessarily cruel. Plus, what if they are a
terrible kisser or has chronic bad breath?
If the no kissing wasn’t bad enough (Yes, I’ll have an onion
on my hamburger), there also had to be a chaperone on each of their dates.
Someone had to make sure nothing inappropriate happened. Imagine being 22 and
needing to have a parent in the backseat while at the drive-in. Never being
able to have a private personal conversation with your soulmate. How can you
prepare for marriage when you are never alone together? The Duggars also
intercepted every text message sent between the couples. Prisoners have more
freedom.
I do understand wanting to protect from the dangers of
physical relations before marriage, but I think the Duggars take it to the
extreme. There can be a rush to the altar, if for no other reason, than to be
able to kiss. Marriage is a serious commitment, which couples need to be ready
for, the real challenges start after that first kiss is had.
