19 Kids and Kill Me

The mere thought of ever having more children than can fit in a mini-van is beyond my realm of reason, so I consider the Duggars to be certifiably insane. From the reality series ’19 Kids and Counting’ rather than ’19 Kids and Kill Me’ the Duggars have more offspring than I have friends. (At least all my friends can fit in a mini-van, or a Volkswagen) However, it’s not their fertility that I find most unique about the family, but their strict rules on courting. (Courting is dating with the intent to marry…I had to Google what the difference between dating and courting is)

Until recently I had never watched an episode of ’19 Kids and Counting,’ which airs on TLC (there’s no little people in the Duggar family…yet), but been keeping up with Jill and Jessa’s relationships and eventual weddings. I assume there really are 19 kids, I’ve only seen about half of them as the shows focus has been on the sisters who got married within the same year.

The Duggars are a wholesome, religious family with strong morals, (Did you ever know anyone named Jim Bob ‘Dad’ whose mean?) who clearly don’t believe in birth control. Also Michelle ‘Mom’ must never have headaches at night. I respect their code of ethics, but think the family could loosen up in some area. Under the direction of their parents, both Jill and Jessa were kissed for the first time at their wedding. Throughout their courtships they never kissed, not even a quick peck goodnight…on the cheek even. Makes you wonder what they did on their dates, must have actually talked the whole time and paid attention to whatever movie they watched together….BORING! I understand waiting until marriage to consummate the relationship, but to not even kiss seems a little extreme.

They not only hadn’t kissed, but also never had a full front to front hug or held hands. The thought of marrying someone who I’ve had less physical contact with than I’ve had with relatives seems foreign to me. I don’t think I could do it. When with the one you love it’s hard enough to wait until it’s time to say goodnight (or until the third date) to have that first kiss, to wait until marriage seems unnecessarily cruel. Plus, what if they are a terrible kisser or has chronic bad breath?

If the no kissing wasn’t bad enough (Yes, I’ll have an onion on my hamburger), there also had to be a chaperone on each of their dates. Someone had to make sure nothing inappropriate happened. Imagine being 22 and needing to have a parent in the backseat while at the drive-in. Never being able to have a private personal conversation with your soulmate. How can you prepare for marriage when you are never alone together? The Duggars also intercepted every text message sent between the couples. Prisoners have more freedom.

I do understand wanting to protect from the dangers of physical relations before marriage, but I think the Duggars take it to the extreme. There can be a rush to the altar, if for no other reason, than to be able to kiss. Marriage is a serious commitment, which couples need to be ready for, the real challenges start after that first kiss is had.