My Farewell to Political Posts

 

After much thought and consideration I've come to the decision to no longer make any political posts on Facebook. There's nothing to gain from such posts, I'm not going to change anyone's mind, and there's the risk of upsetting those with opposing views. So, why bother? There's many other less controversial matters to cover like the Kardashians, there's always something going on with them. The point of my FB posts are to never raise the ire of anyone, except for Buckeye fans, so the presidential race should be off limits. However, before silencing myself, I need to first sound off.

 

A major reason why I felt compelled to make some pro-Trump posts is it's hard to find any support towards him, other than social media. It's really infuriating to me how overly biased the national media has been towards Hillary. Granted my little voice isn't going to make a difference, but at least it's something. We have all heard, countless times, the 'hidden' Trump tape and about every accuser that has since come forward. It's the lead story every night. On the flip side, how much have you heard about the WikiLeaks? Not only high school football, but I think Chess Clubs have gotten more news coverage than WikiLeaks. Needless to say they reveal damaging and current information about Hillary. All I've seen about WikiLeaks are links shared by a couple of very dedicated anti-Hillary 'FB friends' who have posted links from unheard of news sites. Nothing from CNN, NBC, CBS or any major network, but they are all over Trump's latest tweet.

 

In all seriousness unless they are totally uninformed or brain dead, I don't see how anyone could be a Hillary supporter. She is more corrupt than probably half of the inmates in prison. It's a total disgrace that she has even gotten this far. Yes, all politicians are liars, but her misdeeds go way beyond that. From the emails to Benghazi, the Clinton foundation, all the not so mysterious deaths, and Whitewater the list goes on and on...yet what's the news of today, Trump complains about 'Saturday Night Live.'

 

Don't get me wrong, Trump is far from a saint. He's his own worst enemy and makes it easy to criticize him. Yet he's still better than Hillary. If he was only just a half way decent man, the Presidency should have been handed to him without even an election, but he's not. The most redeeming thing about Trump is, he's not Hillary and would be a change from Obama. It's going to be either Trump or Hillary that wins. Johnson and the other nominees have the same chance of winning than the Reds do winning the World Series, and they aren't even in the playoffs.

 

It is troubling to have 'Friends' who support Hillary, especially since they are intelligent people. At least I thought they were. However, I'm far from perfect myself, as I still root for the Bengals, so I'm willing to overlook faults. I don't want political beliefs to come between us. After all, if Hillary wins, in four years you will be on my side and see the errors of you way.

 

Since the presidential race began I have lost three 'friends' on Facebook. I'm not seeking sympathy as I didn't really like them much anyway, it's just sad that politics leads to such hostility. All three were Hillary supports and got mad that I defended Trump in comments on their posts. They apparently couldn't handle the truth. Their choice to unfriend me though did weigh in my decision to stop making political posts as I don't want to wreck anymore relationships. Neither of the candidates are worth it.

 

To those who I've offended or angered I would like to apologize, but I'll be brief since they will probably never read this anyway or have already stopped. To the Hillary supporters I will speak slowly so you can understand me....I   am   s---o--r--r--y.   I  didn't    mean   to   upset    you. Please

forgive     me.

 

I admire those who have been able to resist making any political posts, it's a wise choice. I will try and follow in your ways, but like a politician, I probably won't keep my word.

 

Anyone else who chooses to unfriend me, don't expect to ever see any baby pictures!

 

 

 

 

Fears of Parenthood

While the joys of having a child are plentiful, there’s also some concerns. Being born into a world where Hillary Clinton could be President is scary enough, but believe it or not, there’s some fears that run even deeper. Besides, who knows what Hillary’s health will be in five more months? Though it’s much more fun to focus on the positives, the negatives of being a parent must not be ignored.

The whole changing diapers thing is enough for its own future blog entry, but along the same lines of grossness, is all the puke there will be to clean up. Baby Woody already has two strikes against it, as both Jessica and I threw-up a lot while growing up. Yes, it’s normal for infants to spit-up, but we had volcanic like eruptions into our teen years (at least I did). I started taking an extra pair of clothes to elementary school, just so my Mom wouldn’t have to bring them after I lost my lunch. The clinic had her on speed dial, before speed dial was even invented. As for Jessica, she could barely go for a car ride around the block without getting sick. If the baby inherits that trait, we’ll have to pull over a lot, because though we both have gotten a lot better, we still have a bad gag reflex when we hear/see someone else vomit. It will be a chain reaction, if one of us throws-up, the other will soon follow. It will be an endless cycle of cleaning up barf. We better start stocking up on the Lysol now.

I have a confession to make, it’s very personal and I try not to talk about it, but I’ve kept it buried inside long enough. From the outside I may look normal, or at least somewhat close to it, but not all ailments can be seen. For years I’ve suffered from a serious case of being absolutely terrible at video games. From Pac-Man to Call of Duty, I last for about two minutes before all my lives are gone. It makes no difference if it’s at an arcade, on a home gaming system, a hand held device or on a computer, the results are always the same. With how kids start playing on their electronics at such a young age now, Baby Woody will be two and already past me on Candy Crush. How embarrassing will it be, when the child is still in diapers and beats me at every video game? Their first words will probably be, ‘No Daddy, push B!”

If we play outside the results are likely not to be much better. If it’s a girl, I can at least teach her how to throw like a girl. Either way, boy or girl, we will never be able to play catch, but rather pick it up. Not to brag, but I was always pretty good on the swings, so we’ll have to spend lots of time on the swing set, where I can both swing and push! Just no monkey bars though.

Gone are the days where a quick exit is possible, as I’ll no longer be able to go anywhere without being able to fit everything I need in my pockets. I’ll have to start loading up about ten minutes earlier now. Will never be on time again. I’ll need to pack the diaper bag, toys, stroller, blanket, bottles, food, etc. and hopefully remember the baby.

There will be no more peaceful meals, when out to eat, as soon as I cut into my steak (okay chicken nuggets), the baby will start crying, after having thrown hundreds of cheerios on the floor, and the surrounding diners give us dirty looks. I start shoving the food into my mouth quickly, not even tasting it. Then Baby Woody spits up, which causes me to lose everything I just inhaled, then we really get the dirty looks. We need to rush out before Jessica adds to the vomit, but we have to get the diaper bag, toys, stroller etc…etc…oh the joys of parenting.

The good will by far outweigh the bad, especially if Baby Woody takes after its mother more than its father.

Secret Joys of Parenthood

There are many positive blessings that come from having a baby; such as the warmth of their smile, a love stronger than anything ever known, and personal fulfillment of having created a human life. However, there are some less deep aspects of being a parent that I’m really excited about it.

First, without any shame or fear of getting caught, I can watch Sesame Street again. I never felt comfortable watching it on my own in fear that someone may find out, even with the volume turned really low, the risk was just too great. I didn’t want to be seen watching a show that’s geared for young children and provide further reasoning for my mental development to be questioned. It’s been so long since I’ve visited Sesame Street that I miss the witty banter between Bert & Ernie, Oscar’s put-downs, and Grover’s lessons on near/far plus over/under. Are Big Bird and Snuffleupagus still even friends? There’s been a huge void in my life without Sesame Street. I’m also hoping that maybe The Count can help teach me this new age style of doing Math as I’m totally clueless. I struggle enough with the old way. There’s also a whole new collection of children’s programming that I’m anxious to start watching, as me and the little one find new favorites. Thankfully Mr. Rogers Neighborhood is available on Netflix as no child of mine will go through adolescence without visiting the Neighborhood of Make Believe and learning the catch-phrase ‘Speedy Delivery…Speedy Delivery.’

Another bonus of having a child is amusement parks become much more appealing again. I will now be allowed onto the ‘kiddie rides’ rather than getting denied while preparing to board. When they ask, ‘Do you have a child to ride with?’ I will proudly state, ‘Yes, I do.’ No more getting laughed at for trying to get on the ‘kiddie coasters’ by myself. As long as I can fit in the seat, I’ll be ready to go, and maybe even let go and raise my hands up in the air. In addition, I can also go to Chuck E. Cheese again, it’s been way too long.

Though very young, babies can serve multiple purposes, such as a perfect exit strategy or an excuse to not even go. When grandma starts to tell the same story for the third time in an hour or when the aunts and uncles start to compare scars from their surgeries it’s the perfect opportunity to change the diaper or put him/her down for a nap. It will be easy to come up with a reason to excuse myself for a few minutes while with the baby, verses always having to claim I had to go to the bathroom.

I love the baby already, I won’t have to sit through any classical piano recitals because of it, as I can just say that the baby wasn’t feeling well that day. If asked over to yet another family gathering, and the finale of Big Brother is on the same night, then the baby has just been really cranky and would be better off just staying in.  

From the McDonald’s Playhouses to shopping in the toy aisles, being a parent is sure to bring lots of joys.

 

 

Finding the Perfect Name

  

The name can be everything, who wants to eat at a restaurant called the Poo Palace or live in Ding Dong, Texas? If the original plan to use ‘Mine and Yours’ as the title, instead of ‘The Brady Bunch’ it may not have reached such an iconic status. We as humans are identified by our names from birth to death, and can be the difference between public acceptance and abandonment. It’s the parent’s responsibility to present their child with a name that will serve them well.

I don’t know when the trend of coming up with more modern names started rather than the standards like; Tom, Dick and Harry or Betty, Sue, or Carol. Just like with everything else, there has to be a variety of options to choose from. I can barely decide on what flavor of potato chip to buy, not to mention name a child.

It’s important that it be a name that won’t easily be made fun of, as Woody is already enough to deal with.  That’s two strikes against Harry. An effort is also being made to not share a name with anyone else in the family. We don’t want to copy and everyone deserves their own identity, plus gossip is made easier when you don’t have to decipher which Al or Alice is being talked about. Juniors or II’s etc. are different, but we aren’t going that route. The larger the family, the harder it is to find an original name.

Maybe it’s a sign that I'm too big of a couch potato, but a number of names makes me think of television characters. Hayden brings me back to the days of ‘Coach.’ Actually Luther was my favorite from that show and is more deserving of my firstborn to be named after. Or perhaps Dauber. There’s no Dauber’s in the family. If it’s a girl, Penny or Bernadette are worthy of consideration, but I’d expect her first word to be…Bazinga! The world of television unleashes a whole host of names; Barney, Opie, Kramer (Cosmo), Chandler, Frasier, Piper, Skyler, Phoebe, Kalinda and Cersei. (How many shows did you guess?) There’s big hopes for this child, so to name it after a legend seems fitting. However the suggestions of Bert, Ernie, and Oscar just earned me a look that told me how to get somewhere, and it wasn’t Sesame Street. Maybe I should have started with Kermit.

Since television didn’t work, I turned to a U.S map for further inspiration. There’s one spot that Jessica has vacationed many times and holds a special place in her heart. Therefore, how touching would it be to name it Myrtle after Myrtle Beach. Only it makes the baby instantly sound like a senior citizen. Is there anyone under 80 named Myrtle? There’s also Anderson, which is where Jessica was living when we started dating, but Anderson Cooper is on CNN and we are a Fox News household. Greta? That might work. Reminds me of the O.J Trial though, as Greta Van Susteren got her start by covering it. Speaking of the O.J Trial. Kato is another name that comes to mind. The map ended up taking me in a direction we don’t want to go.

Finally, it struck me, the perfect name…June, after the month it all started. Only the child would be scarred when old enough to ask where her name came from.

Whether it’s a boy or a girl, I don’t know what its name will be, but it will be its very own.

 

The Other Side of Joy

For every winner…there’s a loser and for every joyous celebration… there’s a pity party. The thrill of victory is much sweeter if the sorrows of defeat have previously been experienced.  While currently relishing in the joys of my child’s upcoming birth, I’m also mindful of those whose pregnancy tests always came back negative. Though the response from everyone has been very positive, I’m certain that behind some smiles is heartache.

“So, when are you going to have kids?’ Is traditionally the first question asked of newlyweds, if they haven’t started early. I believe we were asked before we even had our first dance. Our bed wasn’t even put together yet. With each passing month the question becomes more and more frequent. By year two of marriage and still no stroller in sight the cashier at the grocery began to ask it. I don’t rush anything, it takes me an hour and a half to watch ’60 Minutes.’ Besides, getting pregnant isn’t like turning gray, it doesn’t happen automatically as soon as you say ‘I do.’ I won’t go into detail, or draw any pictures, but certain steps have to be taken. Even then, if the directions are properly followed, there’s still no guarantees.

While some women seemingly get pregnant just by having an impure thought others struggle with fertility. It can be extremely frustrating to repeatedly try to procreate and always be unsuccessful. Meanwhile, seemingly every female you ever went to school with, know from work, related to etc. is pregnant. On Facebook there’s suddenly more pregnancy announcements than recipes. Each one a reminder of a blessing being denied.

Television is not even an escape as babies are the number one tool used for breathing new life into sitcoms that are growing old. A show about the biggest geeks possible, ‘The Big Bang Theory’ even has a pregnancy in it. When watching old reruns of the ‘Golden Girls’ I kept expecting Blanche to have a big surprise.

The amount of unfit, (undeserving) or at least irresponsible, mothers also become more apparent. Everywhere you go whether it’s to a movie, restaurant, mall, or anywhere there is a mother with no control of her three young children, is on food stamps and without car, yet pregnant with a fourth. How? Why? Why do others get more babies than they can handle while some can’t have any?

Then on the news is horrendous stories of parents who commit unthinkable crimes against their children, including taking their young and innocent lives. It’s not fair, especially when there’s other homes in which the children would be deeply loved and cared for.

It’s truly meant to be an innocent question, and is asked because babies typically equals joy, nobody ever asks with malicious intent. I’ve been guilty of it myself, and I even try not to talk to people most of the time. However, being asked ‘when are you going to have kids?’ during that certain time of the month and after just learning that your single co-worker accidently got pregnant on a one-night stand, can really sting. I have learned not to ask, as it can be a very personal question that runs deeper that we could ever imagine. Play it safe and talk about the weather instead.

For those on the other side of the joyous baby announcements, I just wanted to express that I’m mindful of your hurt. I know that it doesn’t always get recognized. There’s also no words I can say to help, but don’t give up on the miracle.

As for me, I’m sure it won’t be long after the first is born, before the question becomes…’when are you going to have the second?’

Labor Pains from 'THE' Post

I don’t know what it feels like to carry a baby inside of you for nine months, but I do know the pain involved from waiting for twelve weeks to publicly announce the pregnancy on Facebook. I imagine there’s not much difference between the two. The stress involved from waiting caused me to eat a lot, even have a craving for pickles, and I gained a few pounds. There are many challenges ahead with being new parents, and among the first was making the perfect Facebook announcement at exactly the right time.

While Facebook is a blessing overall, it can also provide some hurdles. Before the days of Facebook, about 10 years ago, it was much simpler times in which to share big news with your family and closest friends. Now with Facebook, those mere acquaintances whom you hardly know have to be considered too. It’s against the unwritten book of ethics to let those closest to you, find out about life’s most monumental events on social media, so they must be alerted first before any post is made. However, if you tell them too early, the longer they must keep the secret…tell them not soon enough, and they feel rejected. It’s a difficult dilemma.

As an active Facebook user, I typically post as soon as I buy a new flavored Pop Tart (the Orange Crush ones are really good) or have any new thought pass through my head, so imagine my eagerness to tell about the pregnancy. Let’s face it, with my looks and skill-set, the major announcements I’ll ever make are severely limited. I’ve already posted about a perfect grilled cheese I made once, and I’m not ever getting married again, so all I have left is the news I’m going to be a daddy. Then at least in a few more years I can post the first day of school pictures! I was ready to post before the pee was dried off test stick, but that’s against protocol.

Apparently twelve weeks is the standard time to wait before posting about the pregnancy on Facebook. Twelve weeks??? That’s longer than some jail sentences. I certainly understand why, but that didn’t make it any easier. Plus the amount of people who knew slowly began to rise, so the pressure mounted that the privilege to make the news public on Facebook would be taken away. The opportunity to make ‘THE’ post would be lost. It wouldn’t even have to be intentional, all it would take was one brief lapse of good judgement or memory (after having one too many margaritas with dinner) for Aunt (insert name here) to innocently make a comment referring to the baby and then the guy who sat next to you in sixth grade Math class, knows before your boss at work, and the whole chain of demand is broken. I found myself censoring my posts to try and lessen the chances of such an accident, the other day I wanted to say how Rose (the dog) never lets me sleep in, even on weekends. But I was afraid someone would comment about how I better be getting used it, or something along those lines. I was really hoping that a member of my family wouldn’t ruin it, so the consequences wouldn’t be as personal. Talk about labor pains!

Thankfully there was no such incident and after the twelve week doctor appointment, and speeding home… ‘THE’ post was made, then of course the next day I realized that due to Jessica’s Facebook settings that it only went out to her ‘Friends.’ So I had to wait twelve weeks and one day! Am already counting down till the baby’s first picture is posted, am sure I’ll be told the standard amount of time to wait before doing so…nobody better do it first!

Side note: I assume that those reading this, saw ‘THE’ post, of the Mickey Mouse ears in front of the castle at Disney. It turned out great, but it’s the picture that almost wasn’t. The idea was found a few weeks prior to our California trip, after the pregnancy was confirmed. At Disney, we finally decide to stage the picture, after getting the hat (ears) and are told we have two minutes before that area of the park is going to be closed due to a parade. If we were just a little later, we wouldn’t have been able to get a picture with the castle in the background.