The name can be everything, who wants to eat at a restaurant
called the Poo Palace or live in Ding Dong, Texas? If the original plan to use ‘Mine
and Yours’ as the title, instead of ‘The Brady Bunch’ it may not have reached
such an iconic status. We as humans are identified by our names from birth to
death, and can be the difference between public acceptance and abandonment. It’s
the parent’s responsibility to present their child with a name that will serve
them well.
I don’t know when the trend of coming up with more modern
names started rather than the standards like; Tom, Dick and Harry or Betty,
Sue, or Carol. Just like with everything else, there has to be a variety of
options to choose from. I can barely decide on what flavor of potato chip to
buy, not to mention name a child.
It’s important that it be a name that won’t easily be made
fun of, as Woody is already enough to deal with. That’s two strikes against Harry. An effort is
also being made to not share a name with anyone else in the family. We don’t
want to copy and everyone deserves their own identity, plus gossip is made
easier when you don’t have to decipher which Al or Alice is being talked about.
Juniors or II’s etc. are different, but we aren’t going that route. The larger
the family, the harder it is to find an original name.
Maybe it’s a sign that I'm too big of a couch potato,
but a number of names makes me think of television characters. Hayden brings me
back to the days of ‘Coach.’ Actually Luther was my favorite from that show and
is more deserving of my firstborn to be named after. Or perhaps Dauber. There’s
no Dauber’s in the family. If it’s a girl, Penny or Bernadette are worthy of
consideration, but I’d expect her first word to be…Bazinga! The world of
television unleashes a whole host of names; Barney, Opie, Kramer (Cosmo),
Chandler, Frasier, Piper, Skyler, Phoebe, Kalinda and Cersei. (How many shows
did you guess?) There’s big hopes for this child, so to name it after a legend
seems fitting. However the suggestions of Bert, Ernie, and Oscar just earned me
a look that told me how to get somewhere, and it wasn’t Sesame Street. Maybe I
should have started with Kermit.
Since television didn’t work, I turned to a U.S map for
further inspiration. There’s one spot that Jessica has vacationed many times
and holds a special place in her heart. Therefore, how touching would it be to
name it Myrtle after Myrtle Beach. Only it makes the baby instantly sound like
a senior citizen. Is there anyone under 80 named Myrtle? There’s also Anderson,
which is where Jessica was living when we started dating, but Anderson Cooper
is on CNN and we are a Fox News household. Greta? That might work. Reminds me
of the O.J Trial though, as Greta Van Susteren got her start by covering it.
Speaking of the O.J Trial. Kato is another name that comes to mind. The map
ended up taking me in a direction we don’t want to go.
Finally, it struck me, the perfect name…June, after the
month it all started. Only the child would be scarred when old enough to ask
where her name came from.
Whether it’s a boy or a girl, I don’t know what its name
will be, but it will be its very own.
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