Am I Ready?

 If I had a dollar for every time I've been asked, 'Are you ready?' since finding out about the twins, I'd be able to fill the van up with gas. You'd think I would have a set answer, but I don't. I better be though, because they are coming whether I am ready or not.

The question flashes me back to when I was about four years old, teary-eyed and nose white with sunscreen. I'm standing at the edge of a pool and a mean looking man with a whistle around his neck asks, 'Are you ready?'

I hold my nose and before I'm able to audibly respond, he pushes me into the pool. It's the moment of truth. I will either sink or swim. Spoiler alert: I survived. To say I swam may be an overstatement, but I was able to doggie-paddle or at least stay afloat well enough to be classified as a swimmer.

To this day, I wouldn't consider myself a master swimmer. I don't know the difference between the breaststroke and freestyle, but I can get from one side of a pool to the other with my feet not touching the bottom. I won't win many races, my grandma used to even beat me (I was close). but I'll reach the finish line. On a side note, I think pacemakers result in faster swimming.

My swimming abilities is similar to many aspects of my life. Most everyone else is better at it than me, but I will eventually get it done in my own unconventional way.

I also felt like I was jumping in to turbulent high waters when I got married. Again, everyone asked, 'Are you ready?' There was a lot I didn't know, but I couldn't afford to sink. Thankfully wives are good teachers and tell you everything you need to know. I sometimes forget, but am quickly reminded. If I waited until I could assuredly say that I was ready for marriage and all that comes with it, I would still be single.

When expecting our now five-year old, almost every conversation would include, 'are you ready?" Based on the number of babies I'd held, diapers I'd changed, and bottles I'd given...I was far from ready, but we somehow all survived. There were times I needed a raft, but overall was able to stay afloat.

Now there are two babies coming...am I ready for at 3 a.m. both are crying at the top of their lungs, Mommy is overly exhausted and mad that one won't latch on to drink, the five-year old whines she can't sleep because of all the noise and the dog is barking; all while I have a headache and can barely stay awake? There are days now that I'm ready for bed before it's dark outside and all I've done is play Barbies. People get nervous when I carry two glasses of water at the same time, and now I'll have two humans to hold. I get the remotes from our two TV's mixed up, am I going to be able to tell my own children apart?

Am I ready? I usually don't feel ready when I dive into the new stages of my life, but I manage to survive. When handed the twins for the first time, my only option is to swim and somehow I will, but it won't always be pretty.