Farewell to Roxy

Silence really can say a lot. Every time I open the front door, the sounds of Roxy not being at home speaks volumes to how much she is missed. Though Roxy never uttered a single word, except if you count ‘Ruff’ she clearly had a strong presence in the house, because it sure is quiet without her.

When I said “I do,” last September and committed to a life spent with Jessica, I knew my life would be blessed in many ways. I never expected her dog, Roxy, to be one of the blessings. They were a packaged deal and I was willing to tolerate being a first time dog owner in order to get the main prize (Jessica). They both proved themselves to be very rewarding. My time with Roxy was to brief, but her impact on my life will last forever.

“It’s just a dog,” that’s what I used to say about the four-legged furry creatures. I felt that they weren’t worth much emotional attachment…I was wrong. I’ve lost grandparents, aunts, uncles and other loved ones, but Roxy’s death hit hardest of all. Why? After all, she was just a dog. I have come to realize it hurts so much, because Roxy was a part of me. We were together every day. She was largely dependent on me, but I never realized how much I relied on her. From her absence I’ve learned how much a part of my daily life she was. For the majority of the time it was just me and her at home so I would talk to her. Probably the only female who never told me I was wrong! Our conversations were brief, and usually pretty one-sided. It’s not often that I’m the bigger talker. She’d usually listen though and sometimes tilt her head as her ears perked up, or at least one of them. Roxy would follow me into the kitchen, in hopes I would drop something (I usually did). Now I have to actually sweep the floor. She kept track of where I was in the house, especially if near the back door. The first thing I did every morning, before even having my juice was let her outside. It was always the same routine, she would walk the perimeter of the yard, sniff around under the shed, and then do her business. She gave me an added purpose and responsibility for each day.

In addition, Roxy was just not part of me, but more importantly was a part of us (Jessica & I). Throughout our entire relationship, Jessica had Roxy. Them together is all I have ever know. When I first started visiting Jessica, while she lived in Indiana, I was afraid of Roxy. Her bark did sound ferocious, but she was really a softie. Our time together has always included Roxy. She made us a family.

After suffering through different health issues all summer, and losing twenty pounds, it was finally discovered last week that Roxy had a massive tumor in her stomach. Cancer is devastating to dogs and humans. There was really only one option, which  is extremely difficult to face. The vet said, we would know when we were ready. I didn’t believe her, I couldn’t ever imagine being ready to have our beloved pet put to death. Once again, I was wrong…I guess in her own way Roxy did tell me I was wrong. That night, she cried all night long. Wouldn’t eat a bite of anything. Her breathing was labored. Roxy was ready to be put at peace…we knew.

While I’ve never given anyone any Driver’s Ed lessons, I believe that taking your dog (pet) to the vet for the final time has to be one of the hardest rides to ever endure. Life can certainly be cruel sometimes. Roxy certainly didn’t deserve such a fate, and neither did we. Just like every proud parent says of their child, every dog owner thinks their dog is the best. Jessica and I are no different, Roxy really was a great dog. She made it so easy for me to become a dog person. All she ever wanted was a little love and attention…doesn’t everybody? I just wish we could have had more time together.

A valuable lesson I learned from Roxy, other than how to pick up her droppings with a paper bag, is that life is precious. Make the most of your time with loved ones because you never know how long you have. I never thought I’d only have a year with Roxy, I wish I could walk with her one more time. I can’t get the day’s back when I thought the weather wasn’t right or I just didn’t feel like exerting the energy. Don’t make excuses. Spend the time with your loved ones, whether two legged or four, as there is nothing else more important.

Though not with a collar, Roxy will continue to walk with me through life, as she marked her spot by leaving a paw print in my heart.

Marriage: Year One

It wasn’t long into our marriage that I annoyed the Mrs., (just a couple hours after exchanging our vows) by giving a speech. Granted my address was rather lengthy, longer than the State of the Union, but it included more truth than Obama has ever uttered. It’s the first time I’ve ever had a lot to say. By the time I got to page four (teen), even though it was close to 90 degrees and I was outside in a tux, I started to shiver due to Jessica’s cold stare. A year later I still occasionally get grief about my speech. However, like most husbands, I’m a slow learner, so in honor of our one year anniversary here is another speech.

Calendars don’t lie, otherwise I really wouldn’t believe that its been a year. I would think it’s just because I’m old that the time seemed to go so fast, but Jessica thinks it did to. So it’s not because of age. We just must be having lots of fun…thanks Netflix!

A key to a successful marriage that I strongly believe in is to never go to bed angry with one another. Any issues should be resolved before going to sleep. It means some late nights, and I’ve started taking more afternoon naps, but we’ve tried to follow the rule. One thing I’ve learned from marriage is that couples who say, “We’ve never had a fight,” are liars. Either that or have husbands who didn’t spend their honeymoon following their Fantasy Football picks.

Seriously though, Jessica continues to amaze me on a daily basis, she can  spot the tiniest of spills on my shirts. She is easy to praise, that’s why I tend to get a little longwinded when ‘talking’ about her. Jessica is extremely hard working, she currently has three jobs and works an average of 16 hours a day. I’m actually not sure if that’s a testament to her work ethic or how she feels about being home with me, but the paychecks are nice. I’m always impressed by all that she’s able to do, as nothing is impossible in her eyes. Jessica can use power tools that I don’t even know the name of. I got a carpenter, a plumber, landscaper, nurse, chauffer, therapist, and wife. Cook? Will nobody can do everything.

A master organizer, Jessica uses her time wisely and can accomplish more in one day than I can in a week. She can work an 8 hour shift at one job, clean house, go to the grocery, make Sangria, get an oil change, walk the dog (wait that’s my job) and balance the checkbook …all in one hour.

Perhaps the most impressive of all is that she’s taught me how to do laundry. I now know the difference between lights, darks and delicates. Or at least I haven’t missed anything up to bad yet. Still waiting to figure out the purpose of the dryer sheets though. In addition, I can now also cook a meal, that’s edible. It sure screwed up my weight loss plan. Never thought I would be searching Pinterest for recipes. All she asks is that I take care of the laundry, dinner and keep the house somewhat presentable..two out of three isn’t bad.

Nobody ever said that marriage is easy, and it’s not, nothing in life ever is. A thing called reality gets in the way of fairytales. It’s our anniversary and rather than being joyous, we’re worried about the health of our dog. Just like all other married couples, the pile of bills keeps rising on us. Every time there’s a light at the end of the tunnel one of our cars breaks down, we get a kidney stone or some other unexpected expense comes up. While it might not be true of our savings account, there’s nothing that will break us up though.

It’s became abundantly clear that Jessica really is the only one for me, guess that’s why it took me so long to find her. Not everyone would have the patience, understanding, responsibility and willingness to spend their life with me. I’m constantly reminded by her actions of how extremely fortunate I am and keep hoping that she somehow still considers herself lucky for having me. Assuming I survive this speech, it is a lot shorter, I look forward to spending many more years with my Princess.

My favorite TV Sidekicks

If my life was a sitcom, it would have already been canceled, and I’d need a new neighbor. There’s nothing wrong with my neighbors, but I don’t even know their names. They have never stepped foot in my house, but in a sitcom they would always be over, often at the most inopportune times, and they would be crazy. I My life not only lacks a wacky neighbor, bur nor do I have a best friend, co-worker, or live-in maid who routinely gets me involved in hilarious situations. Hence why a sitcom of my life would last about as long as ‘Surviving Jack.’

Most of the best televisions shows (or at least my favorites) include a sidekick character, who usually steals the spotlight. In the early days of television, (black and white) there was Fred & Ethel on ‘I Love Lucy’ and now there’s Penny on ‘The Big Bang Theory.’ I’d like to remember some of my favorites through the years.

It would be a crime to go any further on this topic without mentioning the one and only Barney Fife of ‘The Andy Griffith Show.’ There might not be any greater example of a show stealer than Barney, for proof try to watch an episode of the famed series he left. Barney might not have only had one bullet, but he was fully loaded to shoot out comedy. He didn’t even have to speak, just his physical movements and facial expressions were enough to unleash fits of laughter. There are countless episodes in which Barney shines, but a favorite of mine is from season two ‘The Pickle Story.’ Don Knotts as Barney is at his best in the scene when he tries to sneak a bag full of aunt Bea’s jar’s of pickles past her. He tries to explain the rattling, by saying it’s shaving cream. “I shave a lot when I travel,” he nervously bumbles….While on the subjects of Knotts, credit must also be given to his role as Mr. Furley in ‘Three’s Company.’ Furley vs. Roper, that’s a debate for another day.

While not considered much of a classic, ‘Coach’ featured Jerry Van Dyke as Luther, who is one of my personal favorites. What Luther lacked in intelligence, he made up for with heart. He loved Elvis, food, and his dog. Luther is the type who meant well, but trouble always followed him, leading to hilarious consequences. For example, my favorite episode is when Luther comes over to Christine’s apartment to keep Hayden company and ends up staining the white carpet with grape juice and starts a fire in the kitchen. Thanks to Netflix I’ve been getting reacquainted with ‘Coach’ but I’ve only been watching the episodes in which Luther is in the description.

I use the same method with ‘Frazier,’ on Netflix, seeking out his brother Niles. Whether with a one liner or through physical comedy, Niles always delivers. On ‘Cheers’ the character of ‘Frazier’ was one of my least favorite, but the supporting of Niles, Martin and Daphne make him shone on his own show.

Imagine ‘Family Matters’ without Steve Urkel…boring! He’s really the type of neighbor that you hate to see come over, as something is likely to get broken. “Did I do that?” More than a sidekick, Steve Urkel took over the show, similar to Fonz on ‘Happy Days.’

‘Seinfeld’ was the title, but its his trio of friends who really shined. Back when ‘Seinfeld’ originally aired Kramer was my favorite, but with more recent viewings I’ve grown to appreciate George more. I certainly hope it’s not because I unknowingly see a lot of myself in him. Of course, I’ve always had eyes for Elaine.

There are so many more like Schneider from ‘One Day at a Time,’ Six from ‘Blossom,’ Eddie Haskell/ ‘Leave it to Beaver,’ Al/ ‘Home Improvement’, Lenny & Squiggly /‘Laverne & Shirley’, Barney Rubble/ ‘The Flintstones’, Patrick/ ‘Spongebob Squarepants’, Boner/ ‘Growing Pains’…it could on and on…who are some of your favorite TV sidekicks?

A Challenge of Faith

It finally happened, with all the rest of the country, I received a challenge to dump ice and cold water over my head. I’ve been somewhat critical of the craze and would feel like a hypocrite if I were to do it, but I have devised a response.

Most of you have already done it yourselves, and if not have at least seen the overwhelming majority of your Facebook friends take the Ice Bucket Challenge. We are all much more aware of ALS, but what does that really mean? Does the awareness really make much of a difference in our daily lives? One of my gripes about the Challenge is that it’s become the popular thing to do and has become more about the videos than ALS.  The original concept was genius, but the nation has turned it into a mockery.

While sitting in church on Sunday morning (Yes, I daydreamed a little) I was thinking of how the blueprint of the Ice Bucket Challenge could be used for an even greater good. The really cool thing about the challenge is how its united the country and everyone from all ages, colors and class levels can participate in. It used social media to spread a positive message, like it does recipes. Everyone now knows about ALS, a challenge issued over Facebook can reach the masses and influence people to act. People who otherwise would have never heard of the disease are now aware of it. Imagine if the same method was used to make the public aware about Christ.

I can go pour an ice bucket over my head and post it, but the effect will be very minimal. Or I could maybe make someone aware of the power of Christ and help guide them towards a path that will change their life forever. If you think watching someone get soaked brings feelings of pleasure, its no comparison to having Christ perform miracles through you.

Thousands of people who two weeks ago had never heard of ALS are now supporters. You can’t be on Facebook for long without seeing yet another video of the Ice Bucket Challenge. It’s everywhere. Imagine if messages of faith were as rampant as posts about ALS. What impact would that have on our world?

We live in a society where the news is often nothing but bad. The lead story on the nightly news is a murder almost every night. Our schools are heavily secured because of multiple mass shootings in an environment that’s supposed to be safe for children. Drugs are everywhere. Our world is full of hate and violence and where Christ is being shut out, because non believers might be offended.

My challenge is to take a step towards changing that. Will make it even easier than the Ice Bucket Challenge, no video is required. Just simply post…I’m a Christian and include a brief description of somehow that Christ has worked in your life.

Maybe, just maybe it will help spread the awareness of Christ (no money involved) and if just one life is changed, it will be worth it.

To be fair, and so people won’t think I’m just trying to avoid the ice cold water, if twenty people accept this challenge I’ll complete the Ice Bucket Challenge. 

Thoughts on the Ice Bucket Challenge

The Ice Water Bucket Challenge is a craze sweeping the nation, while raising millions & millions of dollars for a very worthy cause; but what are the rules? I feel like everyone is doing it because it’s the cool thing to do, but aren’t fully informed on the details (that’s how Obama got elected…twice).

It doesn’t bother me that the video’s fill up my newsfeed, they are much better than the plethora of the useless personality quizzes. Nobody really cares what element from the periodic table your personality is most like. (We all know its helium anyway: full of hot air). Plus it’s interesting to see the different techniques that are used. Some use the same amount of ice that goes into a drinking glass, while others actually use like a five pound bags worth. Rules? I also enjoy seeing what everyone has laying around the house to use as a bucket. How long until someone markets a bucket to be used just for the ALS Challenge? Some using mixing bowls, other’s coolers, flowerpots, vases…anything that holds water.

The thing I really don’t understand and have yet to find a definitive answer (Yes, I looked on Google) is do those who soak themselves make a monetary donation? It’s my understanding that the choice is to either get wet or pay $100. Everyone is proudly posting the video of them getting drenched, but what’s the honor in choosing that route over paying? I’ve taken many cold showers, so what hurts me is opening up my wallet. The purpose of the Challenge is for ALS to make money, not for everyone to get their fifteen seconds, actually it’s usually closer to 45, seconds of fame on Facebook. I’d be curious to know how many people actually know what ALS even stands for, or if they took the challenge just because everyone else is doing it?

Obviously someone is paying, and understands the rules, because millions of dollars have been earned. That’s great, and I’m truly glad to see a disease other than breast cancer get some attention, but I at least understand the rules of a 5K run. I can’t do it, but I understand it. I can withstand being doused with cold water, especially in August. Want to be praised? Take the ice water bucket challenge in the middle of winter.

On the bright side, it is heart warming to see the entire country come together for a common cause. The challenge is something all ages, colors and genders can partake in. Everyone from elementary aged kids to President George Bush have participated. Entire sports teams, work places and probably neighborhoods have partaken. Just don’t let the real cause get lost in all the attention.
The dollar amount raised is very impressive, if the government had came up with the idea the national debt could be solved in less than a months time.

Furthermore, how did everyone suddenly become such experts on video recording? Parents miss capturing their child’s first step on film because they can’t find the right button to push. I’ve seen videos of weddings where nothing but the ground was recorded, because the cameraman messed up. However, every single ice water bucket challenge is filmed perfectly, centered and with high quality sound, and we know it was all one take because nobody would dare go through it twice.

Here’s my challenge for you, and you have more than 24 hours to complete it…share this with three readers. I want to go viral too. (I’m kidding)

The Battle of Music in Churches

Though its meant to be a center of love and all things holy, the church is often the cause of much conflict. A common cause of discourse within a congregation is the type of music that’s played. It’s a battle of the ages, literally, as traditional is pitted against contemporary. The older members feel the contemporary music is to loud, even with their hearings aids off, while the younger crowd is put to sleep by the hymns. Who wins?

I can only imagine (no reference to the Mercy Me song intended) what the complaints in churches were like when pianos first started being played..‘Feel like I’m in a saloon’, ‘He/She pounds on those keys,’ and ‘I liked the harp much better.’ The inclusion of a guitar, keyboard, bass and drums was a near equivalent of murder in the minds of some, who felt overtaken by the devil’s music.
According to the traditionalists, the contemporary music is not only loud enough to almost break the sound barrier but the choruses go on forever. Their feet feel like they have run a marathon after standing through two praise songs. However, singing all six verses of the hymn on page 152 in the hymnal is no problem.

There’s no question that there is a difference between the two styles and I understand both sides. The elderly just want to honor God, not attend a rock concert, while the younger generation won’t attend unless there’s a praise band. What get’s lost in it all is that both genres give glory to God.
Despite their volume, and repeated chorus, most of the contemporary songs contain lyrics that are taken directly out of the Bible. Whenever I read scripture, it usually doesn’t take very long before the words of a song come to mind. If able to hear themselves think and actually concentrate, the naysayer’s might realize they shouldn’t be complaining about the word of God.

Over the past couple of years, much to my surprise, I’ve become a devoted fan of Christian music. It’s all I listen to on the radio, if not 700 WLW, and the last several concerts I’ve attended were Christian recording artists. I’d choose Matthew West over Miley Cyrus, I at least know some of his songs. However, I still have a respect for some of the traditional hymns, as ‘Amazing Grace,’ is still hard to beat, even with drums. Like with television shows like ‘I Love Lucy,’ it’s nice to take a trip back in time once in awhile, but ‘The Big Bang Theory’ is the standard of today. How a Christian can partake of a song such as ‘10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) and not feel touched is beyond me.

Some churches try to find a happy medium by offering a blended service, which is when a old hymn is occasionally added. I attend a church that is pretty contemporary but does do another classic pretty regularly ‘How Great Thou Art.’ A perfect blend, better than cappuccino, is when
‘How Great Thou Art’ is put with ‘How Great Is Our God.’

My preferences aside, its hard for me to argue against contemporary music when I’m part of a congregation in which its hard to find a seat and the hundreds of people positively respond to the music…and have also witnessed churches dwindle away to nothing because they wouldn’t stray from the hymnals. The important thing to remember is that it’s all about God, and to maybe bring some earplugs and comfortable shoes.

Memories of the O.J Trial: Twenty Years Later

It seemed to be a slam dunk case, or in this instance maybe more of a touchdown case, with all the blood evidence, a history of violence and a suspect who attempted to flee; yet ‘not guilty’ was the verdict. It’s been twenty years since the O.J Simpson trial, an event which many would like to forget, but remains so memorable for a number of reasons. It was true ‘reality TV’ with stakes much higher than a million dollar prize and without any Kardashians…well yes, the Kardashians were involved.

I was pretty consumed by the O.J Trial as it provided more legal drama than even ‘The People’s Court.’ The participants were not actors, unless you count “Naked Gun,” but real litigants having their case heard on national television. It’s the most I ever watched CNN, (Fox News was not yet invented), where Greta Van Susteren got her start as an analyst, pre plastic surgery. I also watched a lot of the coverage on E!, which was hosted by the more attractive Kathleen Sullivan. (Remember, it was twenty years ago)

No matter where you stood on the case, there’s no denying that it was all very riveting. Before the trial even began was the historic White Bronco slow speed chase, which interrupted the NBA Finals. Millions of Americans tuned in to watch a Bronco, driven by A.C Cowlings, which contained O.J holding a loaded gun. Much more exciting than NASCAR. Meanwhile, Simpson’s attorney, Robert Kardashian (Kim’s biological father), publicly read what very much sounded like a suicide note written by O.J.

Yes, it all makes O.J look pretty guilty, plus the fact his blood was found at the crime scene and everywhere else of relevance; not to mention a cut on his hand; but that’s without anything from the defense. I think Johnnie Cochran could make the Devil sound innocent of any wrongdoing. He should have received an Emmy, or at least been nominated, because his performance was better than anything else on television in 1995, including Bob Saget in “Full House.” Seriously, Cochran was so captivating you almost had to root for him….I know, most of you disagree. However, all legalities, evidence testimony etc. aside, Cochran prevailed and narrowed it down to one simple line, “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

Simpson had a ‘Dream Team’ of lawyers, which in addition to Cochran and Kardashian, also included Robert Shapiro, F. Lee Bailey, Alan Dershowitz, Barry Scheck and others. It’s Scheck who introduced the world to DNA. Now DNA seems like common knowledge, as people routinely say, “It’s in their DNA,“ but prior to Scheck it was just, “It’s in their blood.“

The ’Dream Team’ are just some of the memorable figures that became household names during the trial. There was the fumbling prosecutors, Marcia ’the Mole’ Clark whose now an author of courtroom drama novels and Christopher Darden. The victims families, Fred Goldman with his handlebar mustache and daughter Kim. There was also Denise Brown . From the LAPD were detectives Lange and Van Atter, plus Mark Fuhrman , who before Paula Deen and Donald Sterling was most infamous for having used the ‘N-word.’ And of course Kato Kaelin the aspiring beach bum actor, whose only role of any significance was his testimony. There were many more intriguing witnesses, but those are the only names I remember.

Finally, after more than eight months the trial concluded and in just four hours the jury had a decision. I remember I was in class at Sinclair when the verdict came in, I wasn’t expecting it or I would have skipped. Fortunately, I’ve been able to see many of replays. To be honest, I was a minority amongst whites as I was rooting for O.J. I didn’t want to believe a likeable celebrity could be guilty of such a heinous crime and plus I supported Cochran. Plain and simple, irregardless of Simpson’s guilt, the case was won by Cochran…if the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.

Ironically, and perhaps somewhat fittingly after the ‘Trial of the Century’ and all the time, money and attention it took that Simpson’s freedom wouldn’t last. He ended up in prison for a totally unrelated crime, so I suppose in the end that justice was served, but it wasn’t nearly as entertaining to watch.